Want Ad: A-Morir Lena Pearl Sunglasses

Sunday, December 8th, 2013

A-Morir Lena sunglasses Diva in a twinset seeks strong-browed companion for boozy brunches, shoplifting at Bergdorf’s, and lying to men. I’m Holly Golightly: raucous as a 1960s laugh track and classy like a strand of pearls. You love putting on airs and fake accents, and ordering champagne “just because”. Together we’ll be like the Queen Mum and […]

Want Ad: Jerome C. Rousseau Cuckoo Bananas Bootie

Monday, November 18th, 2013

Jerome C. Rousseau Spring 2014 bootie Québécois flirt seeks Imelda Marcos-like devotion and cab fare. I’m a fine featured Italian exhibitionist who has more talent for accessorizing in one little bead than Carmen Miranda had in that whole bunch of bananas. You are sure-footed, wear fake fur and hot pants like pajamas, and want to put […]

Want Ad: Acne Denim Suede Pistol Boots

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

City slicker with a soft spot for Morrissey and artists that had blue periods seeks a sensitive rocker-type with an ample pair (size 9, to be exact). Me: I despise rainy days, quaint cobblestone streets, rockabilly, and peanut butter-and-banana anything. You: always carry an umbrella, walk with purpose, and are writing a book of slam […]

Want Ad: Céline Bracelets

Thursday, March 1st, 2012

Petite coquette seeks frivolity and hand holding. I’m a little bit city, a little bit Zion National Park. I’ll surprise you with my German history (I’m modeled after a Karabinerhaken), outdoorsmanship, and taste in Champagne. (I’m no cheap date.) You fancy yourself masculine and like the thought of showing me off on your arm. Céline’s […]

Want Ad: Morrison Leather Skirt

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Ridiculously impractical romantic seeks slightly too hip-y partner for doomed love affair. I’m a real smooth talker, not always flattering, and won’t ever come totally clean. I hate walks on the beach and can sharpshoot like Annie Oakley. You are prone to impulse buys, can’t keep your hands off me. Morrison is a mighty fine […]